I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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