dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
