I think I died a long time ago.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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