just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
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WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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