he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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