note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
