birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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