he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Still dying that you shit outside
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
