You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
