It's like God shit irony all over that family
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
