I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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