Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
