I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
