I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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