he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
