I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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