Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
