Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize