just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Randomize
