Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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