i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
