So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
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