I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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