I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
