Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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