it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
