ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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