i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize