I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
