try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
