Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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