i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
