wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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