I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
