At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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