Your mouth is God's brothel.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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