so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
