wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
