from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
