How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
