Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship