Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
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My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i love accidental penises.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
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Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter