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• (734): View more from Michigan

  she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords

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• (850): View more from Florida

  Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?

  (850): View more from Florida

  I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife

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• (805): View more from California

  NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

  (805): View more from California

  He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  You should probably go find him.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."

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• 

  23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I will be naked everywhere

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  ...Wow...

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I could be a kindergarten teacher

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• 

  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (408): View more from California

  I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"

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• (520): View more from Arizona

  Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list

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• (408): View more from California

  I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  All the doctor said was why

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