i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
