I'm jealous of your bromance
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
