is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
