i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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