His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
