And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
