the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
