Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
