Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
babies were throwing up all over the place
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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