That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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