we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I think people are normalizing furries
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize