Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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