How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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