i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
