Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Two words: blizzard sex
Randomize