dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
