dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
