AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
